In a presentation I attended by a man I very much look up to, Kevin Dye, he dropped a knowledge bomb on my with a very powerful lesson and it’s since stuck with me:
The position you’re applying for today is a result of where you are right now – but where you are right now is the sum of everything you’ve done since the very start of your career.
This idea profoundly reshaped how I think about career growth, relationships, and trust.
For those of us at various stages in our careers—starting out, mid-way through, or nearing the end—there’s one common thread: the relationships we build along the way are what shape our future because those relationships are actually people and those people hold the keys to different doors that at times you’ll want to get through. Access matters, and the reason I’ve written this is to try and help you understand why this matters and how to build a career foundation rooted in trust real mateship, rather than bullshitting on your CV all the way to christendom and back.
When you’re just starting out, it’s tempting to focus only on the tasks at hand and making yourself look like the absolute stand out in the room – this is important, don’t get me wrong, you should shine but the point right now is, not at the detriment of others who may also glow up near by later on. Whether you’re working on a residential security team, sweeping floors as the new boy in a tactical team, emptying bins in the detectives office, or patrolling suburban streets in some shitpit hell hole, the people you’re surrounded by may feel peripheral to your goals.
But here’s the reality: those people will grow just as you will.
Time, effort, and persistence will elevate everyone in varying ways. You don’t know who among your peers today will end up leading departments, becoming executives, or influencing key decisions in the future. But what you can control is how you interact with them now.
So in the famous words of my big brother, “Be less of a c…..t, you’ll thank yourself later”.
Will you be remembered as someone who was helpful, dependable, and respectful? Or as someone who dismissed the value of others because you couldn’t see their future potential? The relationships you build early in your career form the foundation for trust and collaboration later on.
If you’re ever in doubt, and you’re looking down your nose at someone, here’s the hot tip. That’s you’re ego and it’s the enemy, it’ll hurt you more later on than you might know.
For those in the middle of their journey (don’t discount you’ve probably got another 10-20 good years in you even if you are 40-50 years old), this is the time to pay attention to the broader reputations of both the people you work with and your own. Who are you collaborating with? How do others view you? Your professional relationships are now starting to take on a strategic importance.
It is definitely time to learn the rules of court (not the one with the judges), so that you can understand the complexities of social interactions. Spend some time reading some philosophy and strategy.
By this stage, you’ll also likely start noticing peers stepping into significant roles. Personally, this became clear to me when I saw friends of mine appointed as staff officers to the Commissioner of Police or even as Advisers to Ministers of the Crown, or even more so, friends become Ministers of the Crown. These weren’t people who just appeared out of nowhere either they were colleagues I had worked shoulder-to-shoulder with in the trenches.
This is why building trust and giving selflessly matters. When these individuals think back on their experiences with you, what will they remember? Did you contribute positively, help them grow, or show integrity in difficult situations? Or were your interactions self-serving, indifferent, or even detrimental to their progress?
Now for those nearing the later stages of their career, the focus shifts to leveraging the relationships you’ve spent decades building. This isn’t about exploitation in a negative sense but it’s about drawing on a network of trust, respect, and goodwill you created to find those meaningful opportunities for both yourself and others.
At this stage, you’ll likely have a clearer view of how people’s careers evolve over time. Some will rise to significant leadership roles, others will become specialists or mentors, and many will achieve remarkable things you never anticipated. The key is to ensure that your interactions with them have left a positive, lasting impression and if not, bury the hatchet and go and make amends or instead of just thinking about them, pick up the phone and call them.
When was the last time you had a call from an old friend, got off the phone and thought, fuck I wish they’d call me less…… approximately never I’ll hazard a guess.
You can’t grow a plant without burying the seed, and you can’t pick the fruit without first watering and tending the orchard. You must give to get.
The most important lesson in building trust throughout your career is simple but profound: In order to get, you must first give. Acts of service, kindness, courage, and dedication build trust, but they must be given selflessly. People will recognise authenticity and value, and when the time comes for you to seek their support, they’ll be eager to return the favour.
This doesn’t mean manipulating relationships for future gain. It means genuinely striving to uplift those around you because it’s the right thing to do. When you help others grow, you grow alongside them. On the flip side, if your actions are consistently selfish, dishonorable, or unjust, the network you’ve neglected or mistreated won’t be there to support you when you need it most.
Outsiders might call it cronyism or nepotism, but when you’re backs to the wall and your mates right there with you in the thick of it, it’s that same mate you’re going to want helping you face the new challenges at the higher levels of life. It might seem strange that people always seem to lift up the ones closest to them from the outside, however, when you’ve begun to form a true understanding of the value of trust you soon realise it is a precious and rare commodity.
At every stage of your career, the relationships you cultivate determine how far you can go. Whether you’re starting out, mid-way through, or at the pinnacle of your profession, investing in trust, respect, and selfless collaboration will open doors you didn’t even know existed.
When it comes time to apply for that senior role, promotion, or board position, the people who’ve been part of your journey will recognise your value. And they’ll want to raise you up, and it’s not because they owe you, but because they respect and trust you. They know you do what you say and mean what you do. You’re the real McCoy!
So start preparing for that job interview of the future – now.
Are you actively building trust and relationships in your career? If you’re ready to learn more about elevating your career have a look at some of the resources I provide that are aimed at helping those getting a start in the industry. https://insideagent.gumroad.com or if you got something from this and want to show your appreciation, buy me a coffee: https://insideagent.gumroad.com/coffee
By Ben Hosking
Ben previously worked for over a decade within the NT Police Force specialising in High Risk Tactical & Counter Terrorism Policing, prior to moving into Federal Government and providing executive advice on national policy to the highest level federal representative in the Australian external Territories. The Administrator of CI and CKI. He is accomplished in Dignitary Protection providing services to UK Royals, International Heads of State, Australian Government Officials and various corporate HNWI. He has been awarded a Commendation for exemplary conduct for services within the Territory Response Group.
Ben certified as a tactical police medic and firearms instructor during his time within the TRG. Further, he maintained education, training and qualifications in Search and Rescue Operations. He also holds several qualifications in security and management.
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